The Heart Feels
The heart breaks and the heart knows. I don’t usually work with partnered women. Once in a while, though, they are ready to transform their lives and relationships. They are ready to trust themselves again, to relinquish micromanaging their hearts and relationships, and open themselves up for BIG love; to themselves first. Often, the women I work with do not know how to feel their emotions and bodies and they are afraid. “To feel” has been programmed out of them or buried deep within them.
There’s nothing like a break-up to become intimate with big emotions – courage, grief, sadness, doubt, anger, fear, and great relief.
Sarah was ready to feel. She knew it the moment she stepped into my living room for her first Empowerment Session. She was afraid yet she was ready to come home to herself. About three weeks into starting our play together, she ended her long-standing relationship with the person who she thought was the love of her life. She wanted, more than anything, to feel again. And, she wanted to feel like a woman, in her feminine energy, in ease and flow. Last, she was not receiving (or allowing herself to receive) that opportunity from her relationship and partner.
It broke her heart. A deluge of emotions arose and she felt overwhelmed. In perfect timing, we had just begun a deep dive into her relationship with her inner critic. As a result, she was able to handle the profound doubt she was experiencing and instead allow her inner wise woman to be heard. The day after her breakup, we had our first bodywork session consisting of a special kind of yoga and breath work for emotional and trauma release. The yoga served to nurture and encourage the myriad of emotions to rise within her, be felt, and then released gently with radical acceptance and love. The release allowed emotions to flow freely so she could feel them. It was a break in her normal pattern of distraction, suppression, and spiritual by-passing (meditating her way out of feeling). And, the emotions did not overwhelm her, because she felt safe and with my guidance.
What do I need now?
Following our session, I encouraged her to ask moment to moment, “what do I need now?” This is a practice in ease and flow. No agenda or planning. I asked her simply to feel, accept her feelings and sensations within her body, and move through the day giving to herself what her heart needed and wanted. I was teaching her to live intuitively in her divine feminine.
It’s not always convenient to allow emotions to flow (and embody the feminine) when life has to be lived and things need to get done (the masculine). However, to deny this human experience is to deny the feminine essence within women. This denial is what leads to stagnation, a creative wasteland, sickness in body and mind, bitterness, anger, and resentment. It is what has led to the confusion and unmet needs of men and women in intimate relationships.
The only way through to joy and pleasure is through allowing the heart to feel, to break, to rejoice, and ultimately to love again.
Sophia Treyger, Radical Pleasurist, Intimacy Coach, and Relationship & Empowerment Expert, teaches women how to shift from Pleaser to Pleasure so that they attract and say YES to the best in life: romantic relationships, abundant opportunities, and a close-knit sisterhood. She is a master in creating safe space for women to engage intimately with themselves and with each other. Sophia also empowers women to give to themselves first. And, she is founder of The Intimate Sisterhood and Women’s Intimacy Soirée as well as her signature Radical Pleasure Program.
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